Crazy legs!

Raegan here! You wouldn't believe how wonderful my legs are doing. I showed my Mommy how strong I am by standing up with my legs many times today! I laughed every time I did it because it felt so funny. My Mommy just squealed and giggled and kept yelling at the family to LOOK! so they did and they all clapped for me and it made me laugh even more.
My tummy is feeling much better, my Mommy switched my food one last time and she found the stuff I really like. No gagging for me anymore, (I think).
I had a wonderful time with Christmas. I got to talk to a big fat man all dressed in red the other night too, he was quite jolly and his belly kept jiggling. He smelled like cookies too, I just loved him, I hope he comes to visit us again soon.
I had fun playing with the noisy shiny stuff my brothers and sisters kept ripping off boxes and stuff that they got from under the sparkly tree. And to think they were just going to throw it away!

breathing difficulties

Yup, still on oxygen. I'm trying my hardest to get better but it is really hard. I am tired, but I keep showing my smiles so my family knows I am doing okay and not to worry. Mommy doesn't think I can hear her crying at night but I can and I know why even though I can't say, so I smile to tell her I'm okay.
 My parents have been able to turn my oxygen down though so I know sooner than later I'll be all the way!
I am not having to be suctioned out as much but I am still keeping my Mommy up at night, I just have so much snot in my nose I can't help it! I know we will both be happy when this is over, I can't wait for spring!
I had a wonderful Christmas. My favorite thing this year was looking at the Christmas lights. They make me laugh, the way they sparkle and shine is so cool, I wonder if the big people know this? They don't seem to stop and have time to really look at things it seems. People move way to fast, they need to learn from me and enjoy the moment! Get fascinated by Christmas lights!

Megan's tummy time

Well, since my Mommy switched my food I am doing much better. My tummy doesn't hurt as much and I don't have to yell at my Daddy all the time to come and make it feel better. I don't feel like throwing up either so I am happy. I'm smiling all the time so that my family knows I am happy too. Sometimes I just start laughing just to keep them thinking.
I had a wonderful time for my birthday. My sister Hannah is jealous because I am older than her. hahaha. Daddy fed me some yummy chocolate cake with coconut frosting, I wanted more but they wouldn't listen, geesh!
My babysitter Suzanne bought me a really cute and comfy outfit that my Mommy let me wear all day, I looked very pretty. I got to watch whatever I wanted on TV, so it was Boomerang all the way baby!
My Mommy let me spend a LONG time in the tub too, I loved it, I still didn't want to get out but she said I was pruning up way to much and she didn't want it to hurt, whatever, I just love the water, I think I am a mermaid and I like to flip my "tail" around in the water and splash and giggle and float. Pure happiness :)
I want to thank all of my friends who wished me a happy birthday, my Mommy read me all of your nice wishes and it made me feel very loved. Hugs and kisses to you all.

Tooths!!

Well I finally know what has been bugging me so much these past few weeks. Mommy got really excited when she seen it, said I was getting to be a real "Big Girl". I know it made me chomp on my fist and thumb something terrible so I am glad it has finally "cut through" as Momma says. She says this is only the first of many, are you kidding me?? Well I am going to have a fun time figuring out what the heck I am supposed to do with these hard white things. That should be fun!

Learning to surrender

I am tired. Trying to maintain a normal life while chronically sleep deprived is an impossible task. I hope my kids can forgive me and know that I did the best I could. My three kids that do not have RCDP are the ones I am talking about. They get overlooked a lot, They know when the babies are sick that they are the top priority but it doesn't make it any easier for them. They are good kids, kind, caring and empathetic. I know we owe this to our sweet angels, they have taught us so much. Including how to survive with no sleep! Why do colds always get worse at night. I think I need to change up my sleep schedule and take on a more vampiric approach. Sleep during the day that is, not drink people's blood. My mind can go strange places, I aplologize if it offends, hahaha. The constant hum of the oxygen concentrator becomes a hypnotic sound, always there, reminding me my little Easton is struggling. Like I need reminding, his constant coughing and suffering hurt my heart, I don't know how else to describe it. I can physically feel pain at the sight of his suffering, pulling at my gut and heart so much it hurts. I am learning to surrender. Surrender to my life and my situation at this moment. It isn't easy. I want to fight it, but it is a waste of energy. So I practice surrender, every chance I get, sometimes I can almost see it, taste it. I know it is good so why do I fight it, am I comfortable in my pain, or am I just tired? I surrender. I cry. It hurts so much to see a child suffer, to feel so powerless. To pray, to scream. I surrender. Thy will be done Lord.

One of our sweet RCDP angels, Noah, has passed away. My heart is heavy. His passing makes me want to cling even tighter to my own little ones. Having these children in my life is glorious. My life before, I did not know of them, so I could live without. But now, after having been given such a wonderful and perfect gift, if only for a little while, is priceless. But when they are taken from me, if only in the eternal aspect of things for a little while, it still seems cruel somehow. To have to find a way to live without their smiles, laughter, and even their sicknesses. When one of our angels earns their wings so to speak, it makes me appreciate even more the time I have with these precious children. If I seem to be complaining about being tired, well I am. Things are what they are and I feel a variety of emotions, I acknowledge them all but try not to let them overtake me. But in times of loss, it is hard. My thoughts and prayers are with Noah's family. I pray that God will give them peace.

Easton's on oxygen...

My Mommy and Daddy had to put me on oxygen today. When I sleep they say my breathing isn't as good, whatever, I don't like it. stupid tubes, tapes, YUCK! I guess I will just have to get better so they will take these things off of me. I'm glad my Mommy and Daddy have all of the stuff at my house they need to take care of me and not take me to the hospital unless they "have to". I am so much more comfy here. I am getting really sick of my Mommy constantly sticking this tube up my nose and sucking out my snot. It feels weird! My sister Megan seems to be gettting better already and Raegan has been getting better since yesterday. It's my turn now so I'll try my best! My Daddy says I'm really tough so I know I can do it. Remember my parents in your prayers though!

Sickness...bah humbug!

Well the muchkin trifecta have been pretty sick this week. Lots of runny noses, coughing, gagging and suctioning going on. Their spirits have been awesome though, even through all the yucky these angels still find a reason to smile. It teaches me so much not to mention it just melts my heart. Cold are always the worst at night so I haven't been getting much sleep. I am grateful for the suction machine, and I will be even more grateful when I don't have to use it! If I never hear a cough again it will be too soon. I try to find the good in everything, I can find no good in a cough, no matter how hard I try, I hate them.
Raegan got her splints readjusted today. Her legs are getting straighter! She is being so patient with us as we try to figure out the best way to help her little body. I am amazed by her strength, and her humor. While the doctor was putting on her splints she complained, but when the doctor asked if she forgave him, she smiled. I simply love her.
I am looking forward to Megan's 9th birthday! I can hardly believe it has been 9 years. My little Megan, how she has stolen my heart. She simply lights up my life, she has brought me so much, I can not even begin to put it into words. She has opened my eyes to a whole new world, a whole new way of thinking. I am honored and truly blessed to be her Mother. I am looking forward to the next 9 years!