Seizures

Raegan had another seizure today. It lasted about 2 minutes and started in much the same way as her first one did. I was changing her diaper, she jolted and then just went blank. He arms stayed a little elevated and just kept quivering, as did her legs. She had the most horrible blank stare on her face, that was the worst to look at. It was my babies face, and yet I couldn't see my angel in there at all, just a blank stare. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry. Raegan has the most mobility of all three of my children with RCDP. She has the greatest potential to do more with her body than her brother or sister, so to see her go through this is particularly heartbreaking. I can only hope it doesn't get worse. It seems cruel almost to me, the times these children have to suffer, the times I have to suffer because I just feel so very powerless. They are always so happy! They are always so grateful for what they have, they smile at everything they are given. I would take this away from my sweet RayRay if I could, I would suffer physically for her in a heartbeat and never think twice about it, unfortunately it doesn't work that way. I have to develop longsuffering and patience and trust. Trust that this will all be worth it, and explained to me someday. My faith sees me through everyday, but it honestly saves my life on the bad days. My prayer is for a cure to be found, but until then I will settle for my babies simply being comfortable and happy. When you think about it, who could ask for more?