My Alphabet of Gratitude...Letter E is for Easton

When Easton was born his father and I had not yet picked out a name for him. I told his Dad that he could pick the name and then if we agreed on it then that is what it would be. Well, Chad came up with some real winners, let me tell you! First our son was going to be known to the world as "John Wayne deHaas". Whoa. Seriously?? I think not. Second our son was going to be called "Easton West deHass". Nope, not in my lifetime anyway. Then we decided to drop the "West" go with "Chad" and we had a winner! Easton Chad deHaas was born into this world on March 28, 2005. We did not know if he would have RCDP or not until that day. It didn't matter to us, he would be loved and cherished regardless. He would be exactly who he was meant to be, nothing more, nothing less. I wouldn't change him even if I could. It is hard to see him suffer and I would love for him to do the things "normal" children do. But thankfully I am not in charge, God is and I trust him completely. Now let me see if I can put into words how Easton has saved my life. When I got pregnant with him I was not in a good place emotionally. I was still angry and confused about Megan, still trying to accept what was, and let go of what I had planned. I never thought in a million years that I could take care of a disabled child, let alone 2! After I had him my life was different. I was less angry, less scared and more convinced of my abilities. He brought me from a dark place in my life into a bright new perspective. His smile and his laughter disspelled the darkness, it was no match for his bright and glorious spirit. That light is still tangible in his eyes to this day. I love looking at him and wondering what is going on in that head of his. I know he understands a LOT. He just can't tell me in words, but I can see it in his face. He is more somber and quiet than his big sister Megan. He is more patient and long suffering, and it is that long suffering which I am grateful for because he has taught it to me also. E is also for endurance for he is the definition of the word itself. Easton Endures! He teaches all those who are willing to learn this skill also. When he gets sick he gets REALLY sick and it lasts for so very long. The common cold to him is not at all common and it seriously knocks him out. What would take you and I a few days to get over, takes him weeks and weeks. How do you do it? I get asked that often, I just reply I simply do it because it is what needs to be done. I don't like it, I have a love hate relationship with his suctioning machine but we endure it, together. He looks at me as if to say, "I don't like this Mom, but I understand why you have to do it and I'll be patient" How can I be anything but patient with him when he acts in such a way? There was one instant in particular I want to share. When Easton was in the hospital one day for being severly sick and dehydrated I had to leave him, for a little while so I could take my other kids to school. The nurses know I do all of the caretaking of my children when they are in the hospital, mostly for my benefit, I didn't think it would really make a difference to my children who was taking care of them as long as they were being cared for. This made me sad but Easton had no real way of telling me any different, or so I thought. So I left for around 2 hours. When I returned to the hospital I could hear Easton screaming all the way down the hall. When I got to his room I saw 3 nurses all gathered around him trying desperately to figure out what was wrong and calm him down. One of the older nurses looked up and said "Now watch this" and I stepped up to my son lying in his crib and put my hand on his chest. He instantly calmed down and relaxed enough to rest. The older nurse said "YUP! I was right, I told you he just wanted his mother." It was in that moment that I knew beyond a doubt that my son needed and wanted ME. He knew me, he loved me and he wanted me. Easton might not ever say the words I love you to me, but he finds ways to tell me everyday. The way he smiles, the way he laughs, and they way he looks at me, I can honestly see the love in his eyes. I am thankful for a son who can give me this, who can with one look tell me how important and loved I am. I am thankful for a son who understands how much I desperately love and need him and how much I enjoy being his mother. I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who would entrust me with such an awesome spirit. He has blessed our lives so much in just the 6 short years he has been with us. When I hear Easton laugh my heart soars! I used to laugh when he would pick on his big sister Megan, even though sometimes it would make her cry. It showed me how "normal" some things about Easton really are. Easton is my hero. I can't imagine what my life would be like without him. As I am typing this he is laying in his crib next to me and he just looked over at me and smiled and gave me that "all knowing" look of his. I love him more and more everyday. Thank You for being my son Easton, thank you for blessing my life with your spirit.